The New Taste of Terror...

The Obama Administration is busy changing the proverbial, rhetorical "wallpaper" of language. Certain events and eventualities have recently been renamed. "Terror Attacks" have become "Man Caused Disasters," and the "War on Terror" has become the "Overseas Contingecy Operation." The reason for this is twofold: Primarily, it's designed for this administration to distance itself from the previous one, to put a different countenance on the situations we face, and perhaps, put folks at ease in troubled times. We here at the TPC are all for it! Come on, "War on Terror" is so 2002. Here's some of our suggestions to make this plan more effective.

We propose that in the spirit of renaming these entities that we rename and redesign the Threat Alert Level, and replace its harsh color-coded system. You have to admit it's a little off-putting. Instead, it should be the "Level of Uneasiness." And instead of those bright, startling colors we will have soft fruit flavors. It would look something like this:

 

We think this would work well because the fruit flavors could be combined to create delicious new flavors to accomodate extenuating circumstances. A raspberry-mango dirty bomb sounds yummy!