In yet another example of the strict GOP gubernatorial policy of self-destruction, Texas governor Rick Perry has appointed an outspoken creationist as head of the states Board of Education. And apparently this is nothing new considering the new hire will be replacing another self-proclaimed creationist. A creationist running the Board of Ed? That makes about as much sense as making Bristol Palin the poster girl for teen abstinence (oh, wait).While we here at the TPC may not care much about what goes on down in Texas (to the best of our knowledge, it's mostly bestiality and barbeque), we are still a bit dismayed at the prospect of any child having to choke down bullshit religious drivel thinly veiled as science. In a TPC exclusive, we got ahold of a Texas science text book. Here's some of the more interesting "facts" we found...
- Dinosaurs never existed. The bones were buried by the Jews because they hate Jesus.
- We evolved from aquatic-apes just like Prince Namor.
- The process photosynthesis occurs is a myth. Trees don't breathe, stupid!
- As a Freemason, Charles Darwin had access to the Illuminati's secret time machine, which he used to travel back in time to kill Jesus at the request of Karl Marx and Barack Obama.
- Global warming is caused by people who masturbate.
- AIDS God's way of punishing homosexuals and Africans.
- Sunlight is Jesus' love for us. Sunburns are his way of reminding us to pray.
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