Que Sarah Sarah: Sarah Palin Quits Alaska...

Last weekend, Sarah "Mav'rick" Palin -- Alaska's greatest export since rape and crystal meth -- quit her job as governor to focus on her burgeoning career as a media whore and GOP assassin. If we didn't know any better, we'd say Palin was part of a radical liberal conspiracy to destroy the Republican Party from within. But then we remembered that the Left was too busy hanging themselves (Pelosi) themselves to worry about little Miss Sarah.

At any rate, it looks like Palin won't be going away anytime soon -- we're looking forward to her upcoming memoir, FOX News talk show train wreck, and the guaranteed catastrophe that will be Palin/Pawlenty 0'12. But until then, here's how Caribou Barbie will be spending all her free time...

• More governor's conferences in Argentina with Mark Sanford.
• Teach Levi how to please a woman.
  
• Prepare for her presidential run by Googling "fiscal," "deficit," "healthcare," "Jews," "Russia's proximity to Alaska," and "Megan Fox pics." 
  
• Cover up another Bristol pregnancy.
  
• Mentor Carrie Prejean.
• More key parties with Greta van Susteren and John Coaled.
• Competition with Joe Biden to see who can sabotage Obama faster.
  
• Become a gun model.
  
• Defending the Galactic Confederacy from the evil Lord Xenu.