The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue comes out this week, and it's got us kind of nostalgic. Get our analysis after the jump. (Apologies in advance to all female TPC staff and any other females about to read this.)
Remember, the days before Internet porn when staring at a magazine full of women in bikinis actually used to get us off? We remember scoring a copy back in like eighth grade with Tyra Banks on the cover.
Tyra Banks as a sexual object? How antiquated is that notion? Believe it or not, children, there was a time not so long ago called the "1990s" when Tyra wasn't a comically self-absorbed, batshit crazy talk show host. It's true; she was actually hot, and did shoe commercials with something called a "Lil' Penny."
An athlete's greatest shame is when his ad campaign outlives his career. (Watch out, Kobe.)
Simpler times, we suppose. Now, we're just desensitized. In a Post-"2 Girls, 1 Cup" world (no link provided; Google it yourself, pervert) the Swimsuit Issue looks like a charity calendar for the Sisters of St. Joseph. Bikinis? Only partially-exposed breasts? No DPDA? It's just quaint, really.
That being said; kudos to Andy Roddick for marrying 22-year-old model Brooklyn Decker. Way to lock that down, brother. If you can't beat Federer on the court, at least you got the hotter girl. Seriously, someone should tell Mrs. Swiss Miss to lay off the chocolates. She looks like Ann Veal from Arrested Development.
Her?
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