Don't Ask Don't Tell: A Plea to Carly Simon...

Thirty-eight years after its recording, Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" has left music fans guessing as to whom the song was actually about. Candidates have ranged from Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Cat Stevens, and David Geffen. A new recording of the song may contain some clues. Apparently, Simon whispers the name "David" backwards on the track. However, it seems like this is a red herring since she also whispers "Warren" backwards on another track. So who knows.

All this has us concerned. Some secrets should be kept secret. Sure, we all want to know who pissed off Simon enough to inspire one of history's best fuck-off songs, but the truth can't match our imaginations. It's like LOST; we've endured five seasons of mysteries and questions, and now in the final season, learning the truth has been disappointing, uninteresting, and downright far-fetched -- even for LOST. (The Temple has a hot tub that brings people back from the dead? ...Fuck you, guys.) Please, Miss Simon, don't reveal the name. The mystery is better than truth.
- TPC